But I Could Only Make You Cry With These Words

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 07:37:06 GMT

I am saddened at the death of Heath Ledger. Like, almost at River Phoenix proportions. The media has treated this as a farce. Heath Ledger dead at 28... must be drugs! Drugs strewn around his room! Rolled up $20, clearly he was snorting! Jesus Christ.

He's given several interviews over the years saying that playing these dark characters, such intense rolls, was causing anxiety and insomnia. And what's reported the next day? No illegal drugs. They found six prescription bottles for sleep aids and for anxiety. As someone with sleep and anxiety problems, I'm sure you'll find 6 similar prescriptions in my apartment, as you start one, doesn't work, start a different one, etc.. There are also reports out of London, where he was filming the previous day, that he had walking pneumonia.

Which is to say, the media fucking sucks. I don't want to see images of his corpse. I don't want to see images of hundreds of reporters and photographers outside his apartment, trying to capture gruesome bullshit for fat fucking house wives in Iowa. And you know what? Neither does his mother, father, sisters, wife, or baby daughter.

I find it fitting that a man who, in his personal life, tried so hard to hide from this bullshit media, will last be seen playing a part with makeup so thick it is a mask.

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 09:33:10 GMT

mentalmakeup read my write up of the Fair Tax tonight, and liked it sso much, she dugg it! I've never been dugg! I feel special!

Read it, if you haven't, and digg it. It's important.

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 04:00:24 GMT

From mentalmakeup:

1. Go to the Wikipedia home page and click Random Article (on the side menu). That is your band's name.
2. Click random article again; that is your album name.
3. Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.

Band Name: Commune
Album Name: Gay Collier

1. George Henry Moore
2. Mafia MMORPG
3. Juneau
4. 2016 Summer Olympics bids
5. Pudlov
6. Epistemic mood
7. Charles Schlueter
8. Computers and Typesetting
9. Samuel Lewis
10. The Lovers
11. Killer Ds
12. NeuroElectric Therapy
13. Rhythm band
14. International Commission on Holocaust Era Insurance Claims
15. Harry Worton

I'm thinking my band has a subtle house-electronic sound with female vocals. Gabriel & Dresden with Karin Bergquist singing.

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 04:38:52 GMT

Any Movable Type designers in this hizzouse?

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 01:21:41 GMT

So let us assume, for the moment, that you love me. Let us assume, for a second, that you don't know how to show me that love.

You may show me your undying admiration by buying me a tee-shirt from A Softer World. I want the Zombie one and the Be the Trouble one. I want them now.

Do it. You know you wanna.

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 01:42:55 GMT

It's your turn to help me choose my route back. There are three choices:

The Great Northern will take me along the America/Canada border, far to the north, passing through Seattle, Glacier National Park, several old forts, and the geographic center of the United States.

The Oregon Trail will take me from Oregon through Yellowstone National Park, past Mount Rushmore, and The Field of Dreams (Dyersville, Iowa). The downside of this route is that you have to drive through Iowa.

The Loneliest Road would forego the Pacific Coast Highway trek I would take north, and instead would start from here, where I already am, and lead me on a reverse West migration followed by our earlier Pioneers. It was also put me in Colorado.

So, The Great Northern to see ChiaPox, The Oregon Trail to see beauty, and both of those end up in Chicago to see Narcease; or, The Loneliest Road, and I think the name implies something here, but I would get to see piscis.

I can't create polls on LiveJournal, so you guys will need to leave comments.

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 17:28:29 GMT

Have you ever seen those shirts that look like an 8 year old drew them and say things like "Boys are dumb, throw rocks at them?" Well, it turns out that the guy who makes and sells those shirts (watch as I deftly avoid the word "creator") is a gigantic theiving douche who TRACES OVER OTHER PEOPLE'S ART and then sells it for money.

I know in this case he thought he could get away with it because Dave Kelly is an internet artist, but how the fuck did he get away with ripping off Roman Dirge for so fucking long?

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 00:16:40 GMT

I read a review of the awesome looking "300" on CNN that contained this passage:

"Gerard Butler's glaring,
glowering, bombastic Spartan king Leonidas is the Jim Jones of
military strategists: never retreat, never surrender, death on
the battlefield is the greatest glory."

I wish I knew where this reviewer lived so I could punch him in his stupid, no-history-knowing nose.

It's like "OMG, in this movie Titanic, the boat hits an iceberg. Is it a metaphor for man's hubris?" NO IT REALLY HIT AN ICEBERG THAT IS CENTRAL TO THE FUCKING STORY. They Spartans would NEVER retreat. They would NEVER surrender. Death on the battlefield WAS the greatest glory.

This is why we name our football teams after them.

And if you don't know the history behind the historically based film you are reviewing you really have no place talking about the portrayal of that history.

CHESH SMASH.

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 02:33:50 GMT

Liv Tyler (I really do love her) says in the latest issue of Glamour magazine that "Beauty is not defined by the size of your jeans." And she can say that, because she's a size 4.

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 07:08:34 GMT

I can't stop watching this!

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 00:44:03 GMT

Bush interivewed on NPR.

"And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."

I think you've done a good job ELEVATING the level of distrust too, Mr. President. I think he meant "alleviate," but it must have been Laura's birthday and her birthday wish is that he can't tell a lie for a whole day.

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 17:23:55 GMT

Well, you knew someone was gonna fuck this up.

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 17:32:36 GMT

How in the Hell do you share Mii's?

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 04:11:41 GMT

Frankly, I find the Mark Foley story hilarious. He's been hoisted on his own petard, and he may well face charges on the very laws he helped to co-sponsor. I also like that the internet played such a large role in the story, much as I enjoyed internet slueths tearing apart the fake Rathergate memos.

But, I mean, even I didn't think this story was crazy enough to involve Scientology!

It wasn't enough of a story, with the cyber sex and the underage boys and the alcoholism no doubt brought on by years of extremely closeted behaviour, and the resigning and the media shit storm. Oh no! You had to go there, and belive in thetans.

The Thetans made me gay! The Theans made me alcoholic! The Theatens made me type like a 14 year old girl in those chat logs!

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 08:05:46 GMT

About an hour ago, I had this conversation:

[chesh]APELLE APPELLE APPELLE APPELLE APPELLE APPELLEAPPELLEAPPELLEAPPELLEAPPELLEAPPELLEAPPELLE it's chesh APPELLEAPPELLEAPPELLEAPPELLEAPPELLE
[appelle] WHAT???
[chesh] guess what?
[appelle] What?
[chesh] Guess who won MOST ENTHUSIASTIC FAN at the Buffy sing-along????
[/end convo]

That's right. My first truly geeky attendance. I have never been to a Star Trek Convention, a Buffy Convention, a Firefly convention. In fact, I have never watched a live episode of said geeky things with another human being. It's been me, all alone, immersing myself, following up with friends and the internet only after the airing, sharing it with people only after the DVD's came out, when it was established, when it was safe.

About 6 months ago, I lent Brian all my Buffy and Angel DVD's. Now he's hooked. He calls last night and leaves a message on my phone, informing me the Caberet theater downtown is showing "Once More With Feeling," the Buffy musical episode, on Saturday night.

Clearly, we must attend.

It ends up being me and Brian and John, who has never seen the musical episode. We sit at a table in the back with a lovely couple. They had goody bags. Me want goody bags. The bags were for people who pre-ordered, and finding out about it at 10PM on a Friday night meant no pre-order for us, and hence no goody bag. I coveted our table mates. I loathed them for their goody bags.

Goody bags included: 1 packet of Mustard. 1 small thing of bubbles. 1 kazoo. 1 fire truck lolipop. 1 pair of bunny shaped glasses. 1 parking ticket from the Sunnydale police written out to MARTI NOXON.

I nearly capped a bitch for a goody bag.

Everyone was given fliers with instructions. Like, blow bubbles when Tara sings to Willow. I am sad at lacking bubbles. My favorite -- in fact, everyones favorite -- instruction? Shout out SHUT UP DAWN everytime she's on screen. That was great.

Oh! And the whole thing was hosted by Glory. With some awesome Buffy trivia in the beginning.

And then the show starts, and we're singing and shouting and it's a BLAST. At the end, there's two prizes: One for best costume, and then one for most enthusiastic fan. Which I won. Which I was not expecting. I had to get up on stage. I thanked Brian for being a new fan. Everyone cheered for him.

And me! MEEEEE!! Winner!!

You may ask, "How did you win the title of Most Enthusiastc Fan?" Hey, that's the same question some guy from PopCultMag.com asked me when he interviewed me! My answer? "Well, I know all the words...."

"Is Once More With Feeling the next Rocky Horror Picture Show?" "I think so. God, I hope so."

And what did I win? The Buffy the Vampire Slayer core rule book for D&D, and two Character Journals. And a light up wand! Do I ply D&D? No. Can I leverge this in to a massive eBay sell? Maybe. Especially if I sign it MOST ENTHUSIASTIC FAN, PITTSBURGH, 2006.

This description, of course, does not do justice to all of the amazing fun we had singing and screaming SHUT UP DAWN and laughing and cavorting as we often do. It also doesn't do justice to the drunk woman outside who asked the guy interviewing me why he was interviewing me when her daughter does AIDS work with children. Like, way to steal my thunder, bitch.

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 20:52:42 GMT

OK, so, first, watch this clip from the Daily Show:

Then, read this blurb from IMDB:

Even Fox News Channel itself is not likely to boast that its coverage of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez speech to the U.N. last week was entirely "fair and balanced." The TVNewser website today (Friday) cited a number of questions posed by the cable news network on the lower-third of its screen following the address. They included:
7:16pm: "Pres Chavez: Narcissistic personality disorder?";
10:54am: "How dare Hugo Chavez blast the United States?";
11:02am: "Should we stop buying Chavez's gas from [Venezuela-owned] Citgo stations?";
11:59am: "Chavez insults U.S.: Where is the outrage?";
12:29pm: "Should U.S. continue to fund U.N. after applause for Chavez?";
12:54pm: "Will leaders pay the price for supporting Chavez?";
1:26pm: "Is President Chavez becoming a threat to U.S. national security?";
4:06pm: "Taking cheap oil from Hugo Chavez: Act of treason?";
5:34pm: "NY audience gives Chavez standing ovation... Why?"
Also, the comment: "U.S. giving U.N. $5 mil a day to get insulted."

Well, at least that last one was a statement.

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 06:22:19 GMT

I am watching 24 season 4 on DVD. Something occurs to me.

First, this show fucks with you. Like, you’re all GO JACK BAUER when he’s shouting and shooting some terrorist in the knee. But when they start torturing innocent Americans, you’re all BOOOOO. Of course, Bauer shouts and shoots a guy when he needs information 8 minutes ago, not when he’s trying to stop something 8 months from now.

And then, actually, when you think about it, CTU is incredibly inept. They don’t catch anything before the terrorists have the bomb, or the guy, or they’ve blown up a plane or derailed a train.

CTU fucking sucks. Sure, they win out in the end, because Jack Bauer is scripted that way.

24 is really a treatise on how fucking bad our intelligence community is.

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 01:10:38 GMT

When you move in to a new place, you will sometimes get mail for the previous tenant. An errant catalogue, some piece of spam...

This is the story of Gabrielle, Alyssa, and Al.

We get errant catalogues for Gabrielle. Apparently, she liked Lane Bryant. This is not a big deal, and is a part of moving.

We also get mail for Alyssa, who we assume to be Gabrielle's daughter, since they share the same last name. We get letters from the school district, addressed to "The Parents of Alyssa ____."

This strikes me as odd, since, while you might forget to update the address on a magazine you didn't really want anyway, you would certainly alert the school district to your child's new address.

Sometimes we get tax forms from the township for Gabrielle. This, too, is puzzling.

Let me interject with Al -- Mail from bill collectors and lawyers comes for Al. He does not share Gabrielle's surname. And then there were the guys.

See, shortly after we moved in, and spanning the course of several months, men -- large men, men with broken noses, men of a certain stereotype -- came knocking. Always one at a time. Always in very nice cars and leather jackets.

They demanded to speak with Al.

Well, demanded may not be correct. They were polite, if firm. And it's always unnerving to open your door to a large stranger asking for someone you've never met. So maybe I'll stick with "demanded."

Regardless, they want Al. We informed them on each of their visits that Al does not live here, we know no Al, and we're sorry, but you have the wrong house.

Once, this was odd. Twice, this was pretty weird. Three times, and it became downright scary.

Eventually, the police came, looking for Al. This is perhaps even more bizarre than our friends with the "I could kill you with a baseball bat" look.

After the cops came a-knocking, the visits to our door stopped. We still get mail for him, though.

I used to send the mail back, you know, "Return to Sender -- Addressee Unknown." But I've been here two years, and that shit got old really fast. Now it goes in the trash.

Tonight I come home from work to find a package on my doorstep. "Prezzies!" I think to myself. But no. It's a box, sent via U-P-freakin-S, addressed to Gabrielle. It's from a company, so it means she ordered something, and sent it to the wrong address.

This is utterly baffling.

And then I started to think... maybe it's not. Maybe... Gabrielle still lives here, in a parallel universe. She's there with her parallel daughter in a parallel school district. Maybe she's getting my magazines. And my socks that are missing from the dryer.

Maybe Al's there, too, in another universe. Maybe his mobster friends somehow ended up in the wrong one. Maybe where he is, my friends come knocking on his door.

Maybe where they are, I'm a tall black man.

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 16:49:55 GMT

I wish I could impart to you the Herculean effort required to bruise your palm but I seem to have forgotten how I did it.

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 04:01:47 GMT

Do you know what I love about Dead Rising?

Killing zombies with guns.

Killing zombies with swords.

Killing zombies with knives.

Killing zombies with sledgehammers.

Killing zombies with power tools.

Killing zombies with soccer balls. SOCCER BALLS.

Killing zombies with MOTHERFUCKING BEES.

It combines two of my favorite things: Zombie apocolypse and using your camera as an emotional coping mechanism.

Is it awesome? Oh HELL YEAH IT'S AWESOME.

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 14:48:43 GMT

Dear Stupid Motherfucking Movies Where the Twist is That Our Hero is Really the Killer,

Knock it the fuck off. You can't do it. You are, in fact, stellarly terrible at it. The only film I have ever seen where this worked EVER was Fight Club and that was because Tyler Durden was actually split in to two people doing seperate goddamn things.

Seriously. What goes through your head?

"So, this chick has a seriously repressed lesbian side and she SNAPS and imagines a huge fucking disgusting guy killing the family of the girl she dreams about and then kidnapping the girl but she fights the guy and it's symbolic of her struggle with her sexuality!" (High Tension)

"This chick learns that her mom killed a nun but she represses the memory and then through her subconcious kills everyone involved and then shoots herself with a spear in an amazing bit of impossible physics!" (The Nun)

"The killer is actually the chick who died in the beginning, and using an ingenious system of levers and pullies, she orchestrated the deaths of everyone she knew! BRILLIANT!" (Coming soon to a theater near you)

Stop it. Stop it stop it stop it. You can make a psycho movie, or you can make a supernatural movie, but you can not make a supernatural psycho movie where the psycho can bend time and space and be everywhere at onc-- actually, that's not a bad idea.

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 16:07:55 GMT

Go right now and watch this:

http://www.gametrailers.com/player.php?id=12116&type=wmv

I haven't even played this game yet, and I am in love with it.

BRAINS.

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 14:37:13 GMT

The internet is agitated at the news that Dakota Fanning will play a rape victim in her next film. And yet, I haven't seen a single Roman Polanski joke.

Frankly, I'm disappointed.

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 17:20:22 GMT

There are pictures of utter adorableness here.

Meet Jackson! He's 4 months old! We've had him for about a month now, and he's happy and healthy. He's learned sit, stay, come here, and lay down. He's also learned to mimic everything the cat does. :)

We adopted him from the Humane Society, and they said he's a Beagle Mix. They could not define the mix part. However, the nice old Irish woman up the street who has raised Beagles her whole life swears he has to be a pure Beagle. I'm going to teach him tricks and put him in the movies!

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 05:46:09 GMT

CalamityJake pointed out that comments were broken over at Why She Can't Write, which prompted me to fix that. And then piscis wanted RSS turned on, and I think I have that working, too. And I took the time to completely change the look and feel. Do you like it?

So, that's why I didn't write today.

PS: I am really proud of that picture. I took it! With my camera! With my new birthday lens! I like it so much, I am including it here.